Seek help if:
- Symptoms last more than two weeks
- Daily life feels unmanageable
- You have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
- You feel anxious, panicked, or scared most of the day
- Immediate help: Call 911 if you feel you or someone else is in danger.
Other ways to cope:
- Talk to your doctor or OB-GYN—they can screen for postpartum depression and anxiety.
- Connect with a psychotherapist for guidance and coping strategies.
- Share your feelings with trusted family or friends.
- Practice self-care: rest, eat well, and accept help.
- Join support groups for new parents.
Self-Esteem Therapy in Newmarket & York Region, You Were Not Born Believing You Were Not Enough
Low self-esteem rarely announces itself clearly. It does not usually arrive as a voice that says “you are worthless.” It is quieter than that. It is the automatic apology before you have done anything wrong. The way you shrink in a room full of people. The voice that runs a commentary on everything you do and finds it lacking. The sense that other people are more deserving, more capable, more legitimate than you.
You were not born with that voice. It developed. And what was learned can be unlearned.
As a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) in Newmarket, I offer self-esteem therapy for adults and teens virtually across Ontario. I use CBT, ACT, compassion-focused approaches, attachment-based therapy, somatic nervous system work, mindfulness-based therapy, Behavioural Activation, and psychoeducation. No waitlist. Sessions available day and evening.
No Waitlist
Start this week.
Free 15-min call
No commitment
Day & Evening
Flexible hours
Virtual
All of Ontario
What Low Self-Esteem Actually Looks Like
Low self-esteem is one of the most pervasive and least discussed mental health concerns because it rarely looks like what people expect. It does not always look like sadness or obvious insecurity. Often it looks like high achievement, relentless productivity, and a drive to prove worth through performance.
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re in the right place.
“I constantly second-guess myself even when I know I am right.”
“I cannot take a compliment without dismissing it.”
“I feel like a fraud and it is only a matter of time before people find out.”
“I hold myself to a standard I would never apply to anyone else.”
“My sense of how I am doing depends entirely on how other people respond to me.”
“I have achieved a lot and still do not feel good enough.”
Low self-esteem shapes how you relate to yourself, how you relate to others, what opportunities you pursue or avoid, and what you believe you deserve. It is not a surface-level concern. It is a foundational one, and addressing it changes everything downstream.
Common signs of low self-esteem include:
- A persistent inner critic that is harsh, relentless, and rarely satisfied
- Difficulty accepting positive feedback or attributing success to your own ability
- Chronic comparison with others, usually unfavourably
- Over-apologising, minimising your own needs, or making yourself small
- Fear of failure that prevents you from trying
- Perfectionism as a way of managing the fear that you are not enough as you are
- People-pleasing and approval-seeking as a way of feeling temporarily okay about yourself
- Difficulty making decisions or trusting your own judgment
- A deep sense of shame that is not tied to any specific event
Self-Esteem Presentations I Work With
Low Self-Worth and Self-Criticism
The foundational presentation. A pervasive sense of inadequacy and a self-critical inner voice that monitors, judges, and finds fault relentlessly. Low self-worth typically has its roots in early experiences of criticism, conditional approval, or neglect, and it persists into adulthood as an internalised set of beliefs about what a person deserves and is capable of.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not about high standards. It is about the belief that your worth is contingent on your performance, and that any failure or imperfection confirms the feared belief that you are fundamentally not enough. Perfectionism is exhausting, self-defeating, and deeply connected to shame. Therapy addresses the underlying beliefs that drive perfectionism rather than just the behaviour itself.
People-Pleasing and Approval-Seeking
When self-worth is not internally grounded, it becomes dependent on external validation. People-pleasing, the compulsive need to be liked, approved of, and seen as good, is one of the most common manifestations of low self-esteem. It generates resentment, exhaustion, and an inability to know what you actually want when you are not focused on what others need. For more on how this pattern shows up specifically in women, therapy for women in Newmarket covers the Good Girl Syndrome and people-pleasing in depth.
Imposter Syndrome
The persistent belief that your achievements are undeserved, that you have somehow fooled everyone, and that it is only a matter of time before you are exposed as inadequate. Imposter syndrome is particularly common among high achievers and frequently coexists with significant external success. Therapy helps build an internal sense of competence and worth that is not dependent on the absence of self-doubt.
Body Image and Self-Acceptance
Difficulty accepting your own body, chronic dissatisfaction with physical appearance, and the belief that your worth is tied to how you look are forms of low self-esteem with specific presentations that therapy addresses carefully. This work focuses on building a different relationship with your body and your sense of self, one that is not contingent on meeting an external standard.
Self-Esteem After Trauma or Abuse
Trauma and abuse, particularly when they occur in childhood or in close relationships, have a devastating impact on self-esteem. The shame, self-blame, and core beliefs about worth and deserving that develop in the aftermath of abuse are among the most painful and most treatable forms of low self-esteem. For more detail on how I approach trauma treatment, trauma therapy in Newmarket covers that work in full.
Self-Esteem in Teens
Adolescence is a developmentally vulnerable period for self-esteem. The combination of identity formation, peer comparison, academic pressure, and social media creates fertile ground for low self-esteem to take hold. Early intervention matters, because the self-esteem patterns established in adolescence tend to persist into adulthood. For more on teen therapy specifically, teen and adolescent therapy in Newmarket covers how I work with young people.
Self-Esteem After Relationship Breakdown
The end of a significant relationship, whether through divorce, separation, or the loss of a friendship, frequently triggers or deepens existing self-esteem difficulties. Questions of worth, lovability, and what you deserve can become acute in the aftermath of relationship loss. Therapy provides a space to process the grief and rebuild a sense of self that is not defined by the relationship or its ending.
How I Work With Self-Esteem
Self-esteem therapy in my practice works at multiple levels simultaneously. The beliefs, the body, the behaviour, and the relational patterns that maintain low self-esteem all need to be addressed for change to be lasting.
Compassion-Focused Approaches
Self-compassion is not the same as self-indulgence. It is the ability to relate to yourself with the same basic kindness you would extend to someone you care about. For many people with low self-esteem, self-compassion is not a natural skill. It has to be built deliberately, often against significant internal resistance. Compassion-focused therapy provides the framework and the specific practices for developing a kinder, more accurate relationship with yourself.
Attachment-Based Approaches
Most self-esteem difficulties have their roots in early attachment experiences. The way caregivers responded to you, whether they were consistent, attuned, critical, or conditional in their approval, shaped the beliefs you formed about your own worth. Understanding those roots does not excuse the patterns but it fundamentally changes the relationship you have with them.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT identifies and challenges the core beliefs that underlie low self-esteem, the fundamental assumptions about worth, capability, and deserving, and builds more accurate and balanced alternatives. It also addresses the behavioural patterns, avoidance, people-pleasing, over-achieving, that maintain low self-esteem even when the circumstances of life no longer require them.
Somatic Awareness and Nervous System Regulation
Low self-esteem is held in the body. The way you take up space, the physical tension of self-monitoring, the embodied shame that makes you want to disappear. Somatic approaches work with these physical patterns directly, helping develop a more grounded and present relationship with your own body and nervous system.
Behavioural Activation
Low self-esteem maintains itself partly through avoidance. The avoidance of situations where you might fail, be judged, or be seen. Behavioural Activation gradually reintroduces these situations in a structured way that builds evidence against the beliefs that drive the avoidance.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
Mindfulness helps create distance between you and the self-critical thoughts that drive low self-esteem. Rather than being identified with the inner critic, you develop the capacity to observe it, to notice when it is running, and to choose not to take its assessments as facts.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
Mindfulness helps create distance between you and the self-critical thoughts that drive low self-esteem. Rather than being identified with the inner critic, you develop the capacity to observe it, to notice when it is running, and to choose not to take its assessments as facts.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT takes a different approach to self-esteem than traditional CBT. Rather than building high self-esteem as a goal, ACT builds psychological flexibility and values-based living that makes the moment-to-moment evaluation of self-worth less central to daily functioning. The goal is not to feel better about yourself all the time. It is to stop your sense of worth being the determinant of what you do with your life.
Most clients begin to notice a real shift within 8 to 12 sessions. I check in on your progress regularly, and I adjust the approach as your needs change.
What to Expect When We Work Together
Your first session is 50 minutes focused on understanding your experience of low self-esteem, when it started, how it shows up, what it is affecting, and what you most want to change. Many people find it difficult to talk about self-esteem concerns because they carry shame about having them. That is understandable, and it is something I am familiar with. There is no judgment in this space about what you bring.
From session two onward, sessions blend insight, skill-building, and the gradual, consistent practice of relating to yourself differently. Change in self-esteem is rarely dramatic or sudden. It is cumulative, built through many small moments of choosing a different response to the inner critic than the one you have always chosen before.
Self-Esteem Therapy with Maria | Self-Help Books | No Support | |
Addresses root beliefs about worth | ✓ | Partial | ✗ |
Compassion-focused approaches | ✓ | Partial | ✗ |
Attachment-informed treatment | ✓ | ✗ | ✗ |
Treats trauma-based self-esteem issues | ✓ | ✗ | ✗ |
No waitlist | ✓ | N/A | N/A |
Virtual across Ontario | ✓ | N/A | N/A |
Extended benefits coverage | ✓ | ✗ | ✗ |
You've been managing this long enough.
Let's actually change it.
No waitlist. Most clients start within the same week as their consultation call.
- Sessions from $120
- Extended benefits accepted
- In-person & virtual
- Day & evening hours
Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know before booking your first session.
How much does self-esteem therapy cost in Newmarket?
Sessions are $120 per 50-minute appointment. Many extended health benefit plans in Ontario cover sessions with a Registered Psychotherapist. A receipt is provided after every session for direct submission to your insurer. Check your plan under “Registered Psychotherapist (RP)” or “Psychotherapy.”
How long does self-esteem therapy take?
Self-esteem work tends to be longer term than symptom-focused therapy because it involves changing foundational beliefs rather than managing presenting symptoms. Many clients see meaningful shifts within 16 to 24 sessions. Deeper work, particularly where self-esteem is rooted in significant trauma or long-standing attachment patterns, typically benefits from extended engagement. I discuss realistic timelines at the assessment stage.
Do you offer virtual self-esteem therapy in Ontario?
Yes. Virtual sessions are available to clients anywhere in Ontario, day or evening.
Is there a waitlist?
No. I currently have no waitlist. You can book a free 15-minute consultation and typically begin your first full session within the same week.
Is low self-esteem a mental health condition?
Low self-esteem is not a diagnosis in itself, but it is a significant mental health concern that underlies many clinical presentations including anxiety, depression, eating difficulties, and relationship problems. It is treatable, and addressing it at its root has a positive impact on many other areas of wellbeing.
I have tried to build my confidence before and it has not worked. Will therapy be different?
Possibly, and here is why. Most confidence-building advice addresses the surface without touching the root. Affirmations, goal-setting, and positive thinking do not change the underlying beliefs that drive low self-esteem. Therapy works at the level of those beliefs, the attachment patterns that formed them, and the somatic patterns that hold them, which is why it tends to produce more lasting change than surface-level approaches.